Tabitha Sweeney

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June 10, 2024

Hitting the trail, usually a source of grounding and clarity, occasionally becomes a conduit for releasing the flood of emotions I've been holding inside. Yesterday was one of those times.

I set off on my usual three-mile trail loop, but before I even reached a quarter of a mile, the tears had begun to flow. By the time I hit half a mile, there were more tears AND I was lost.

I wasn’t far from the path, according to my map and GPS it should have been right there, but it seemed to have, poof, vanished into thin air. This fueled my determination to complete what I had set out to do—a simple three-mile loop.

Instead of fixating on finding the exact path, I decided to head in the general direction. I climbed over a pile of fallen trees, trudged through deep mud, and swatted away countless mosquitoes. Eventually, per my GPS, I found myself just above the path and was easily able to circle back down to it by that point.

As I caught my breath, sweaty and scratched up, I leaned against a tree only to find a gentlemen much older than me, walking up from the very path I had struggled to find. I briefly entertained the idea of asking him to show me where I had gone wrong, but what good would that do now?

Taking a moment to collect myself, I reflected on the journey I had just experienced. What started as tears had evolved into uncontrollable laughter—it felt like my entire life had been condensed into that moment. Time after time, getting so far only to lose sight of the path and take my own round about way back.

There was a profound beauty in it, juxtaposed with the sadness that had initially overwhelmed me. It dawned on me that we will all end up exactly where we are meant to be, however we are still responsible for the choices we make along the way.

When I realized I couldn’t find the path, I had choices.
1️⃣ I could have turned back
2️⃣ I could have stayed put hoping for a miraculous revelation
3️⃣ I could keep moving in the general direction I knew I needed to head

None of these choices were inherently right or wrong; they simply existed. I made the choice I needed for that day, but tomorrow might bring a completely different decision, and that's perfectly okay.

Life doesn't adhere to black-and-white answers. It's about navigating the gray areas, adapting to the unexpected, and embracing the journey with all its twists and turns. And ultimately, outside of death, there is nothing that cannot be undone and overcome.

So, when life throws you off course and the path seems elusive, remember: embrace the journey, make the choices that feel right for you in the moment, and trust that you'll find your way back.