THE SPICY BEDROOM
Spicing up your relationship by introducing new dynamics in the bedroom can be an exhilarating & enjoyable way to bring excitement into your life.
When approached mindfully, this exploration has the potential to breathe fresh air into your connection, strengthening communication & fostering a sense of liberation & freedom.
Yet, diving into this adventure without careful consideration can have the opposite effect, potentially posing challenges to a marriage. It's crucial to ensure both partners are ready and on the same page, ensuring a positive & enriching experience that enhances rather than strains your relationship.
Effective communication is the cornerstone of navigating lifestyle experiences within a relationship. It's common for partners to assume they share the same perspectives, only to discover discrepancies.
This guide has been carefully crafted to stimulate crucial conversations before embarking on the exciting prospect of inviting others into your intimate space.
By engaging in this process, you're laying the groundwork for open communication and ensuring that both partners are on the same wavelength, fostering an environment of trust & understanding.
Instructions:
Take the time to independently complete the following questions, providing honest and thoughtful responses. Afterwards, compare notes. Embrace a policy of brutal honesty, & don't shy away from addressing any discomfort you may encounter.
COMMUNICATION
1 Rate your current level of communication:
2 Do you have a code word to stop if you feel uncomfortable?
3 Do you worry your partner will get mad if you stop the play?
4 Do you trust your partner to stop if you ask?
5 Are you comfortable enough with your partner to talk about any and all fantasies, desires, boundaries and jealousy?
6 Is jealousy an issue in your relationship?
7 Have you thought about watching your partner with someone else?
8 Does the thought turn you on, do nothing for you or bring about negative feelings?
BOUNDARIES
1 What are your HARD NO’s?
2 Will you require a recent STI test?
3 What do you consider recent?
4 Will you require a condom?
5 Is birth control being used?
6 Is kissing okay?
7 Is touching okay?
8 Is oral sex okay?
9 Is vagnial penetration okay?
10 Is anal okay?
11 Where is it okay to cum?
EXPECTATIONS
1 How do you envision the ideal experience to play out?
2 What are you most nervous about?
3 What is the one thing you are most excited about?
4 What are you looking for in the person you invite in?
5 Do you truly want to do this?
6 How does it play out from beginning to end & after?
7 Is this a one time thing or do you want to explore further?
NEXT STEPS:
If you & your partner's answers align, congratulations! It indicates strong communication skills, & you're likely well-prepared to move forward & enjoy the lifestyle together.
If you find differences in your answers or encounter challenges in discussing your desires, consider booking a coaching call. A coaching session can provide guidance to help you both get on the same page & navigate this aspect of your relationship successfully.
Book a strategy call. During the call, I'll provide personalized guidance to address your specific concerns & facilitate open communication between you & your partner.
Remember, open communication is the key to successful relationships. Whether you're ready to move forward or seeking guidance, these resources are designed to support you on your journey.
CONSENT REMINDERS
These reminders emphasize the importance of ongoing communication, explicit agreement, & respecting boundaries to ensure a consensual & enjoyable experience for all.
Yes is the ONLY Consent
Understand that "yes" is the only valid form of consent. Silence or the absence of a "no" does not imply consent. Always seek explicit agreement before proceeding
Communication is Key
Before introducing new elements such as toys or impact play, ensure these are discussed & aligned with the established rules & boundaries. Open communication is crucial to maintaining a consensual & enjoyable environment.
Consent is Ongoing
Remember that consent is not a one-time agreement. It needs to be sought & confirmed every time you engage in play. Consistency in seeking consent helps maintain a respectful & comfortable atmosphere.
Revoking Consent
Be aware that consent can be revoked at any time, even during play. Both partners should feel empowered to communicate their comfort levels, & any changes in consent should be respected immediately.
BONUS TIPS
These reminders emphasize the importance of ongoing communication, explicit agreement, & respecting boundaries to ensure a consensual & enjoyable experience for all.
Always have a clear & concise escape plan
Establish a pre-arranged escape plan, such as a specific word, phrase, or action, to be used if either partner feels uncomfortable. Prioritize the importance of mutual comfort and well-being.
hold your initial meet-up in public
Consider having an initial meeting in a public setting to gauge the vibe & establish a comfortable rapport before moving into more intimate environments. word, phrase, or action, to be used if either partner feels uncomfortable. Prioritize the importance of mutual comfort and well-being.
Clear communication of boundaries
Be clear & direct about your boundaries, expectations, & rules. Discuss these aspects openly before any intimate activity, ensuring mutual understanding & consent. These conversations should happen well before any clothing is removed.
Express affection & connection
Remind your partner of their significance to you before engaging in any activities. Expressing affection & reinforcing the emotional bond can contribute to a positive and respectful experience.
Always trust yourself
Always trust yourself & prioritize your comfort. If anything feels uncomfortable, communicate openly with your partner(s) & be willing to reassess the situation. Consent is dynamic & can be withdrawn at any time.