What I Learned About Work-Life Integration

The biggest lie we are ever told—especially as women—is that we can have it all.
The Pinterest-worthy house.
The respectful career.
The tiny humans dressed in clothes without holes and stains.
The crumb-free car.

Stop.
Just stop trying to have it all.
It’s a lie.

The truth is: it’s not that we can’t have it all—
We just can’t have it all at the same time.

One of the Best Lessons I Ever Learned

Early after opening my business, a coach with far more experience gave me advice that would change everything.
She said:

"You can have a clean house and a checked-off home to-do list.
Or you can be killing it in business productivity.
But you will never have both on the same day."

If you’re thriving at work, your house will be a mess.
If your house is spotless, your business will slow.

It’s not about balance—it’s about integration.

That lesson cost me a few thousand dollars up front, but it has saved me tens of thousands of dollars—and an immeasurable amount of emotional distress—over the years.
It completely shifted the standards I set for myself each day.

#RealTime Reflection

I’m sitting at my computer, meditating on the depth of that advice.

Today is the last day of school for Cal, and it’s a half-day.
I'm a tangled, jittery mess of nerves. My routine is changing, and my brain is spinning.

Thoughts like:

🐿 I just found my groove with business—I can’t lose momentum now.
🐿 How am I going to work amid the noise and chaos?
🐿 End-of-year teacher gifts—shit, I forgot!
🐿 I need a new system so I’m not a snack bitch for a 7-year-old all summer.
🐿 Family meeting? New rules? Wait, I’m the adult…
🐿 Last day of school photo—don't forget it, don't forget it—forgot it.
🐿 Another birthday invite—am I the only mom who doesn’t want a $500 themed party?
🐿 Do I even have all the boys' phone numbers for Cal’s birthday?
🐿 Ooh, new content system idea! (Morgan Freeman narrates: "It would not, in fact, be the game-changer she hoped for.")
🐿 Found a gym! Yay! Wait—nope, not realistic this summer. Try again in September.
🐿 What am I writing about again?

And that’s just the first two hours of today.

Why "Having It All" Breaks Us

Here’s the problem with trying to do it all:
We are humans raising tiny versions of us—with tiny brains and giant emotions.

When I remember that I can’t have it all at the same time, I remember to lean into me.

Reality Check for Myself

❌ I will never be a Pinterest mom.
✅ And it’s okay—my soul doesn’t light up there.

❌ I have no idea what color shirt my kid is supposed to wear for Spirit Day.
✅ There's a mom whose soul does light up by knowing every classroom announcement. I will befriend her and kindly ask for day-of texts.

❌ I don’t want to overschedule my children.
✅ So I won’t.

(My prayer for them: "Lord, let them be good enough to get picked for neighborhood kickball. But not so good a coach notices them for travel leagues. Amen.")

❌ I have dreamed of the big house, outdoor kitchen, and Edison lights.
✅ But I also love my tiny apartment fiercely. Less space, more life.

❌ My child often looks like an orphan in public.
✅ Those holey pants? His favorite. That stain? Proof he ate today.

The Game-Changer Lesson

Maybe I'd have more energy to deep clean if business wasn’t my passion and calling.

But I learned Newton’s third law through living it:

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Meaning, if I’m thriving in business, I’m not deep-cleaning baseboards or crafting perfect Pinterest projects.

I choose where to pour my energy.

My Realistic Daily Standards

Home:

💛 Creativity flows when my space is tidy—so I dedicate 1 hour a day to tidying.
💛 Deep cleaning? Not happening. (Please don’t check behind my shower curtain.)

Motherhood:

💛 I am not my child’s personal entertainer—and that’s okay.
💛 I will drop everything to snuggle during a nightmare.
💛 My kids will never question if I have their backs.

Work:

💛 My life’s greatest purpose.
💛 Radical self-acceptance work is my soul’s calling.
💛 Being my own boss allows me to parent my way—with fewer outside pressures.

What About You?

What’s causing you emotional distress right now?
Where are you feeling like a failure?

What if I could do for you what my coach did for me—
save you years of pain and thousands of dollars simply by changing your standards?