May 16, 2024
Hey Hey!
Welcome to my little corner of the interweb where spirituality, sexuality & authenticity collide to make one of the biggest, messiest and most amazing projects that you have ever stumbled upon.
I’m about to shake things up in the world of personal development and life coaching.
It’s not a shock that there are no shortage of personal development and life coaches out there preaching on any one of these three topics. But there is one thing they are all missing; and that’s the fact that all three of these practices are needed on a deep level to live a fully intentional life with purpose.
Are you ready to break it down? Let’s start by defining each practice.
Spirituality
Call it what you want; God, the Universe, the Fairies, an Algorithm or anything else you wish - we are all talking about the same thing. A belief and connection to a vibration and force that is greater than ourselves.
I call her, the Universe and you will often hear me speak about universal alignment and energy. I am talking about living your life in a way that is in accordance with your greatest purpose.
This practice requires us to trust and surrender to something greater than ourselves. Something that we can’t see. Believing whole heartedly that this power wants the biggest, baddest and most incredible life for us and we have the potential to achieve it.
The phrase “everything happens for a reason” is rooted within the realm of spirituality.
To me, spirituality is far deeper than a belief, it is a knowing so deep in my core that I can’t explain how I know, I just do.
Spirituality is the journey.
2. Sexuality
Let’s go beyond surface level on this one and start by acknowledging that sexuality is a fundamental part of being human. Honest sexual exploration and acceptance is often out of reach for those who were raised believing that sex is dirty, shameful and/or a reflection of our moral compass.
I know this because I was one of those people. I was forty and divorced before I could even admit to myself what it was that I fantasized about. The cost of diving in and exploring my own sexuality was that of losing friends and family who didn’t agree. However, the reward has been a freedom beyond my wildest dreams.
I talk a lot about sexual exploration and my own experiences in an attempt to showcase the influence it has on living our truth, as well as work to provide a safe space for those with questions on expanding their sexuality.
3. Authenticity
This is where my entire career started many moons ago. Authenticity is who you are when the world stops telling you who you should be. It’s who you are when you are stripped of the filters that hold systemic discrimination, societal norms, generational and personal traumas and all of the “shoulds” you have ever felt in your life.
Over the years I have come to identify four distinct pillars of authenticity, that when explored and applied in the correct order will become the foundation of true authenticity: 1. Body Image 2. Worthiness 3. Boundaries 4. Exploration
Here’s the cliff notes of how it breaks down and flows together:
👉🏻 Body image is the deepest center of our authenticity as humans. It references how one feels about themself & this dictates every thought with a trickle down effect.
👉🏻 If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, or you hate getting up to walk around the office because you don’t want other people to see you then how will you ever feel worthy?
👉🏻 If you don’t feel worthy of yourself, of love, or of all you desire, then you will place the wants of others ahead of your own.
👉🏻 In time this becomes a practice of people pleasing and builds resentment alongside other turbulent emotions.
👉🏻 The only way to stop people pleasing is by building and holding boundaries, but that is near impossible if you aren’t convinced you are worthy of them.
👉🏻 If you don’t have boundaries and you fear the judgment of others, I’m willing to bet there is a secret burning so deep within you, that you would never talk about let alone explore.
👉🏻 I hate to be the bearer of bad news but if you are still keeping secrets from yourself then you aren’t truly living authentically.
The problem in the coaching world is that it each pillar has been separated into its own practice and sold as a “fix”. But that isn’t how intentional and purposeful living works and if we don’t learn, examine and integrate all three equally, then we can not reach our potential.
4. The Messy
[DOWNLOAD the Venn Diagram] This Venn diagram demonstrates the cross over and integration between the pillars. The lessons, if you will, that mold us on our journey. Once we realize that we cannot excel in one pillar without it bleeding into the next, that’s when we realize that life is truly our own and not what we have been told. I have named the space where the pillars spill from one into the next; The Messy.
That’s what this space is… the messy. It’s where everything above comes together to begin helping us raise our vibration and level up our lives. The Messy is my niche.
Coach after coach, I was told that I was doing it wrong. Well duh, that much was clear because what I was doing wasn’t working. I was told I wanted to work within too many practices. I was told I needed to be on all the social channels and accessible by every app. I was told I needed to be a coach. I listened over and over to what I was told and never stopped to listen to my own truth. That’s why nothing was working and I was always left feeling frustrated.
I was out of alignment & eventually it cracked me and I broke.
In breaking I burned everything to the ground.
I deleted:
❌ email and all messaging apps off my phone
❌ all of my social media accounts
❌ my podcast; life unedited
❌ the old website
❌ every single previous thing I had ever written or worked on
❌ the many, many “shoulds” that I was told to be and do
Poof, with a few clicks, it was all GONE and I made the decision to move forward in a new way.
It’s amazing what can be born out of ruins. I got still and tapped into what I knew to be my truth and purpose then asked the Universe for the guidance I would need. She began by validating the fact that I made the right decision in burning down the old. My purpose has always been to inspire, not coach. To make sure that you know you aren’t alone in a world filled with highlight reels and filters.
My purpose is to work within and fully embrace the messy because that is where the magic hides.
I have no idea where I am going on this ride, but I am happy you’re here with me.
📞 While I don’t offer coaching packages, I do offer single call sessions where I help you navigate through the current messy to seek peace. If you’re ready to change your life, it all starts with a single call. BOOK NOW
🪞 Struggling with how you feel about yourself? Check out my FREE Affirmations download right here!
