Navigating Emotional Exhaustion in a World That Feels Too Much
Dear Diary,
Sometimes life just feels like too much to keep up with.
To be honest, the place where I’m sitting isn’t where I thought I’d be at 42 years old. But I guess the difference between what I imagined and what actually is doesn’t really matter. What matters is the fact that I can slip in and out of depression quicker than I can change out of my jeans and into my favorite sweats.
Sometimes, I wonder if I would fall into depression as often if Trump had never been elected. Wonder isn’t really the right word—I know the answer. No. Because this country would be led with love over hate.
The amount of hate that burns inside these borders is so strong that it overpowers everything at times. My girlfriends tell me I can’t let it consume me. I know they’re right. I do. And yet, I can’t seem to turn it off. If I could, I would.
Some days, I wake up and feel fine. Other days, the weight of it all sinks so deep into my bones that I can barely move.
I’d say it’s going to be a long four years, but I know this won’t be over in four years. This isn’t about one election. It’s about the fact that the world feels like a never-ending cycle of cruelty, and I don’t know how to exist in it without letting it take me down.
But I have to find a way.
I don’t know what the first step is, but I know I can’t stay here forever. There has to be something on the other side of this weight—somewhere I can breathe again. Maybe it starts with one small act of reclaiming my energy. Maybe it starts with something as simple as letting today be exactly what it is, without shame.
I don’t have the answer yet. But I know I’m not meant to drown here.
