The Messy Intersection of Spirituality, Authenticity and Sexuality
Finding Purpose Through Integration
5/16/2024
Welcome to my little corner of the interweb, where spirituality, sexuality, and authenticity collide to create one of the biggest, messiest, and most amazing projects you’ve ever stumbled upon.
I’m about to shake things up in the world of personal development and life coaching.
It’s no secret that there are plenty of personal development and life coaches out there preaching on any one of these three topics. But there’s one thing they’re all missing: the fact that all three practices are deeply interconnected and essential for living a fully intentional life with purpose.
Are you ready to break it down? Let’s start by defining each practice.
Spirituality
Call it what you want: God, the Universe, the Fairies, an Algorithm, or anything else you wish—we’re all talking about the same thing. It’s a belief and connection to a vibration and force greater than ourselves.
I call her the Universe, and you’ll often hear me speak about universal alignment and energy. I’m talking about living your life in a way that aligns with your greatest purpose. This practice requires trust and surrender to something greater than ourselves—something we can’t see. Believing wholeheartedly that this power wants the biggest, baddest, and most incredible life for us, and knowing we have the potential to achieve it.
The phrase “everything happens for a reason” is deeply rooted in spirituality. For me, spirituality isn’t just a belief; it’s a knowing so deep in my core that I can’t explain how I know—I just do.
Spirituality is the journey.
Sexuality
Let’s go beyond surface level here and start by acknowledging that sexuality is a fundamental part of being human. Honest sexual exploration and acceptance are often out of reach for those raised to believe that sex is dirty, shameful, or a reflection of moral character.
I know this because I was one of those people. I was forty and divorced before I could even admit to myself what I fantasized about. The cost of diving in and exploring my own sexuality was losing friends and family who didn’t agree. However, the reward has been a freedom beyond my wildest dreams.
I share my experiences to showcase how sexual exploration influences living our truth and to provide a safe space for those curious about expanding their own sexuality.
Authenticity
This is where my career began many moons ago. Authenticity is who you are when the world stops telling you who you should be. It’s who you are when stripped of the filters of systemic discrimination, societal norms, generational and personal traumas, and all the “shoulds” you’ve internalized.
Over the years, I’ve identified four distinct pillars of authenticity. When explored and applied in the correct order, they form the foundation of true authenticity:
Body Image
Worthiness
Boundaries
Exploration
Here’s how it flows:
Body Image is the center of our authenticity. How you feel about yourself dictates every thought and action.
If you don’t like what you see in the mirror or avoid walking around the office because you don’t want people to see you, how will you ever feel worthy?
Worthiness impacts your sense of self, love, and desire, influencing whether you prioritize others over yourself.
This leads to people pleasing, which builds resentment and turbulent emotions.
Boundaries are the key to stopping people pleasing, but you must feel worthy of holding them.
Without boundaries and free from judgment, you can begin Exploration, diving into the secrets you’ve kept even from yourself.
If you’re still keeping secrets from yourself, you’re not truly living authentically.
The Messy
[DOWNLOAD the Venn Diagram] The Venn diagram illustrates how these pillars overlap and integrate. The lessons we learn in these intersections mold us on our journey. Life isn’t clean-cut; it’s messy. And that’s where the magic happens—in the messy.
Coach after coach told me I was doing it wrong. It was clear nothing was working because I wasn’t listening to my own truth. Instead, I was following “shoulds” and expectations that didn’t align with my purpose.
Eventually, it broke me. And in breaking, I burned everything to the ground:
❌ Deleted all email and messaging apps from my phone
❌ Deleted all social media accounts
❌ Deleted my podcast, Life Unedited
❌ Deleted my old website
❌ Erased every “should” I’d been told to follow
With a few clicks, it was all gone. I made the decision to move forward in a new way.
It’s amazing what can be born out of ruins. I got still, tapped into my truth, and asked the Universe for guidance. She validated my decision to start anew. My purpose has always been to inspire, not to coach. To ensure you know you’re not alone in a world filled with highlight reels and filters.
My purpose is to embrace the messy, because that’s where the magic hides.
I have no idea where this ride is going, but I’m thrilled you’re here with me.
