Rose’s Story

I got a call last night from Rose, a client from a year or two ago, who I've kept in touch with. Rose, an attorney with her own practice, wears all the hats and does all the things. She reached out with a timely decision:

Rose: "The strangest thing happened. A big city firm practicing the same kind of law as me reached out a few weeks ago. Today they officially offered me a position, but I don’t know what to do!"

Tab: "Wow, that’s huge! Tell me more."

Rose: "If I accept, my current firm would cease to exist. I’d join them as a 1099, and they’d funnel leads to me in our small city. But I just finished a full rebrand. I’ve spent thousands of dollars. Closing up now feels like wasting all of that."

Tab: "I get that. But let’s take the money out of the equation for a moment. All things equal—what pulls you more? Do you feel sadness at closing, or a sense of relief?"

Rose: "Relief. But also like a failure."

Tab: "Why failure?"

Rose: "Because I’m giving up."

Tab: "I don’t see it as giving up. It sounds like you’re evolving, letting go of something that no longer feels good. Being a solopreneur means doing a lot outside your expertise. This opportunity lets you focus on what you love."

Rose: "But what about everyone involved in my rebrand? Am I failing them?"

Tab: "Did you pay them?"

Rose: "Yes."

Tab: "Then they’re fine. You don’t owe them anything beyond that. Remember, this is about not forcing yourself to be uncomfortable for others’ sake anymore."

We discussed the offer in detail, and by the end, Rose felt ready to move forward—so long as a few clarifications were met. I reminded her of two things:

1. There are no guarantees, regardless of her choice.

2. There are no wrong choices—only lessons. What she learned from the rebrand, especially about communication and boundaries, has already leveled her up. That money wasn’t wasted at all.

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Deconstruction

We've been groomed to believe certain things that make decision-making feel impossible. Let’s break them down:

1. Changing your mind makes you undependable, unlovable, and unworthy
   If you grew up in an environment where loyalty and commitment were prioritized over feeling safe, you might feel like changing direction is never an option.
   🧁 Truth Sprinkle: You are allowed to change your mind.

2. Someone is tracking all your failures and judging you harshly
   The education system, with its focus on standardized testing and memorization, teaches us to fear failure as catastrophic. This discourages risk-taking.
   🧁 Truth Sprinkle: Failure doesn’t exist; only learning does.

3. Other people's comfort is more important than your own
   From being forced to be polite, share, or tolerate uncomfortable situations, you've been taught that your comfort is secondary.
   🧁 Truth Sprinkle: Your comfort should come first.